


Talk Dirty, L

by Kirandor (Nott)



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Bad Dirty Talk, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 09:06:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12317940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nott/pseuds/Kirandor
Summary: L attempting to dirty-talk his lover but failing. It just sounds awkward and unsexy.





	Talk Dirty, L

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the following prompt on the Death Note Kink Meme:
> 
> L attempting to dirty-talk his lover but failing. It just sounds awkward and unsexy.  
> L's lover can be anyone but prefer Misa, Matsuda, Light, Naomi or Mello (non-shota Mello, please!).  
> Also prefer it if L's lover forgives L and they then get down to some action.
> 
> https://dn-kink.dreamwidth.org/457.html?thread=901833#cmt901833

"I'm going to talk dirty to you, Light-kun." L said without any shift from his usual monotone.

"Oh really?" Light gave him an amused look and rolled over on their shared bed to look at his lover with his beautiful brown eyes. He was shirtless and only wearing his pyjama bottoms without any underwear. L would have taken him right there, right now, but he had prepared this as a special thing for Light and he wanted his young lover to enjoy it.

"Yes, really. You and I will engage in sexual intercourse in approximately 10 minutes."

"You want to seduce me within 10 minutes?" Light asked, leaning seductively towards L. "Vanity, definitely my second favourite sin."

"Seeing you in those loose pyjama trousers is making me want to get you out of them." L said, calculatedly, just like he rehearsed.

"Why don't you, then?" Light gave him a smirk, leaning back on his folded arms and lifting his hips suggestively.

"I think Light-kun can very well undress himself."

"Come on, I know you want to"

"Don't smirk at me like that, you know it annoys me to no end."

"I was just imagining what I would do to you if _I_ wanted to seduce you in less than 10 minutes."

L was starting to get annoyed that Light was so much better at it without even trying, but he pulled himself together. He did this for Light, after all.

"I need to concentrate. I've worked very hard on this and you are making it difficult."

"That makes me curious."

"I’m going to make you ejaculate so frequently that your testes, seminal vesicles and prostate gland will not be able to produce enough semen for you to ejaculate when you come again. You will be dry."

"And how will you do that?"

"I will use penile and anal stimulation. At the same time."

"Tempting."

"Putting my penis inside you releases a load of endorphins. Also, my brain reacts positively to the gustation of your bodily fluids."

Light's playful, frisky countenance started to fade.

"Just the sound of your respiration causes the muscles attached to the base of my hair follicles to contract and pull my hair up."

"Is something wrong with my breathing?" Light asked, slightly irritated.

"No, not at all! I mean that it makes my hair stand up."

"I understood that," Light huffed. "But why does it give you goose bumps?"

L stared at him in confusion.

"Because it's involuntarily invoked by sexual arousal. Isn't that obvious?"

"Not the way you were describing it." Light growled. "Cold temperatures and fear are much more likely to cause goose bumps."

"I get the feeling you're not into this, Light-kun."

"Well..." Light avoided eye contact. "It's not that I don't love that you would do this for me. It's just..."

"You're not turned on."

"You need to use more dirty words, Ryuzaki." Light supplied helpfully.

L looked truely out of his depth. It was adorable, really.

"You know, like 'I wear these pyjamas only to make you horny'."

"Despite what you might think, your pyjamas are not that spectacular, Light-kun. Even if _you_ are wearing them."

Light rolled his eyes.

"It was just an example. It's not like you could appreciate a choice piece of clothing anyway."

"I prefer Light-kun when he's not wearing any clothes, choice as they may be."

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Light smiled and kissed his lover.

"As opposed to your cock." L smiled back.

Light checked his watch on the bedside table.

"You may have needed less than 10 minutes after all."

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> This gotta be the fluffiest Light/L I've ever written. Hope you like it.  
> And I quoted the Devil's Advocate, because I'm old as fuck.
> 
> Since the story is so short, here are two "outtakes" that I like, but couldn't fit into the flow of the story:
> 
> Light: "I wore these boxers just for you."  
> L: "You don't wear anything underneath. I can see your cock hanging loose through the fabric."
> 
> L: "You know I wore these jeans just for you."  
> Light: "You do realise I fucking hate those jeans, right?"


End file.
